when i said

cry me a river, i didnt mean for you to actually do it. maybe its a sign about how much you really want this and some type of reality check for me to wake the fuck up. i dont know why im so negative and that's always been OUR problem. its me ALWAYS causing the problem and i dont know how much i can stress the fact that im sorry. it's tough to change when ive been this way for about 3 years. but seriously im really trying. i dont want you to ggo through shit you shouldnt be going through . i gotta admit i didnt know if you were kidding or not but it hurt. im sorry you had to go though that. it was not my purpose for that to happen. stay in there with me, everythings gonna be alright <3